What is this American obsession with CHEESE? No, that's not a joke. As a visitor to the lovely State of Florida, I like to eat out on occasion. And an idle perusal of restaurant menus reveals an unhealthy reliance on dairy.

 Not just the ubiquitous cheeseburger. They offer cheese on almost everything! Cheese on eggs. Cheese on chicken. Cheese on ham. On pasta. I haven't come across cheese on ice cream, but it can only be a matter of time.

Now I have nothing against cheese. A nice piece of Cheddar makes a great Ploughman's Lunch, or a satisfying sandwich. A dab of philly is great on crusty bread (and now I'm feeling hungry) but like many other delights, it needs to stay in it's rightful place. Like chocolate. Don't start me on that. I mean, chocolate-covered potato crisps? What mad gourmet thought that one up?

In one supermarket recently I spotted a good twenty varieties of cheese. Mostly imported -- the American varieties leave something to be desired -- cheese in a spray can? Cheese as plasticy squares? -- but really, who needs so many different varieties?

It's clearly a conspiracy. That shadowy entity the USDA are behind it. An attempt to get the American public addicted to cheese... Where will it end...?